Death by Fire: A move at the 11th hour of the month by a Brooklyn man who strangled his wife to death deserves the sword this time around. May the fires of Azrael char his body slowly.
Slave Pit: Eliot Spitzer gets this fine for March. Likely all politicians do this, but he just did a bad job of covering up... literally!
Excommunication: This goes to the office security guards. See Building IDs for details.
Last month, there was also a boyfriend who kept his girlfriend on a toilet seat for a month. She sat for so long that her butt was literally fused to the seat and had to be detached at a hospital. I don't even know what to think of this. It's so out-of-this-world. It doesn't fit my 3 punishments, but it deserves something!
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